According to my dictionary, hyperbole (pronounced hyperbollee) is ‘an exaggerated statement not meant to be taken literally’. I wish someone would tell the media (especially the local news) and marketeers that.

People are never a bit upset and mildly inconvenienced when a bus service changes or the lift is out of order, they’re devastated, trapped and stranded. When there’s a mistake on their gas bill they’re not a bit surprised and then glad when it’s sorted out, they’re shocked, dismayed and horrified then hugely relieved.

Food manufacturers don’t release a new flavour, instead it’s an exciting new recipe or unique taste sensation. Products are never quite a good idea which might be useful, they’re innovative and life changing.

TV programmes are never quite amusing, they’re always hilarious and slide-splittingly funny. Presumably ‘they’ watch the director’s cut, leaving me with the version which got slightly lost in translation … either that or I’m just a complete and total misery. Yeah, could be that.

Here’s a picture of a deadly poisonous fungi I risked life and limb to photograph for you. Or, without the hyperbole, here’s a fungi which might not be good to eat and which was growing on a slope of wet grass, meaning that had I not been careful I could have slipped a bit as I walked up to it.